Heaven’s War

by BigGeorge

There is in mythology, stories about a war in heaven, a vain angel challenging God and he and his minions cast from paradise.  Many of us are told as children that the sound of thunder is actually the sound of angels bowling. One story we dismiss, the other many believe.  But it you believe them both, it is not hard to believe in the greatest game ever played in heaven.

An angel always bowls a perfect score, so a game can go on for over a hundred years, but this is not long for an angel, or a god, and because this particular game, was played before time itself existed.  It was at one of these long games a wager was made, the prize would be the souls of man.  And it should be stressed that it was not Lucifer making the bet with Yeshua, but the angel Gabriel, feeling somewhat confident this day, challenging Lucifer.  A discussion ensued about whether it was Gabriel’s right to make such a bet, but caution was thrown to fate, and it was decided that because the two archangels both had free will and there was nothing written to forbid the bet, the game would be played.

Pretty much everyone showed up, all the major gods, a few minor gods and all of the angels attended.  They even had to get a bigger venue so many angels showed up.  Krishna was a no show, to this day the reason remains one of the universes greatest mysteries.  Lucifer won the coin toss and rolled first, strike and then another strike, Gabrielle was up, strike, strike.  This went on until both angles had both bowled a 300′.  Allah rolled his eyes, “Infidels” he said.  “Best two out of three” Michael yelled from the audience.  And it was agreed, the best two out of three would take the soul of man, then two out of three became three out of five and on until almost eternity had passed.  As last Odin yelled, “Enough” and a quorum was elected to decide the outcome of the game.  A great war was proposed, but as most gods are gods of peace, it was decided the game would continue, with breaks here and there.

The souls of man were divided equally among the gods, and no man knowing who is god must spend his life trying to find out.  And, ironically, no god would know what souls he owns, so all the gods must be kind to all man while man strives to find his god.  You have ten lives Buddha offered, two rolls each life, and in the end the higher your score, the better your rewards.

And that is why bowling is getting closer to God.  One of the world’s oldest games, it has been said “It can be assuredly said, the character of a man can be determined by how he bowls”. In the movie “The Big Lebowsky”, there is a line that says “Donny was a good bowler, and a good man.”

The next time you hear thunder, know that your soul is at stake.

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