Running Away

by typehere

I always laugh at people who are overly affected by their social relationships. They are being affected in a way that, everything around them does not work right. I understand that there may be exceptions and specific cases, but why dwell on something that has already happened.  Why depress yourself if you can just get yourself busy with other things?Just as I got admitted to the track and field team, heartbreaking news welcomed me at home.  “Your mother left us.”  Being a teen whose personality is still developing and being explored, it got me thinking.  Is the world far more different than what I think about it?  I thought I had a perfect family and a perfect life.

But I am not the person who gets all carried away with problems.  I must stay firm and strong.  The track and field team practices will get my mind over this family problem.  Regular practices made me busy; a lot busier when the tournament was just around the corner.  Warm-up exercises every morning, training in the afternoon, team building every weekend and counseling after classes.  My daily routine fitted my desire to get away from the problems and not be much affected about it.

A couple of months passed by and our family situation led to its ultimate end. My mom filed a divorce.  It was likely to happen, but a little part of me wanted the two of them to try it again and give each other a chance.  But not all things get a happy ending.  Some win, others lose.

I am a runner and I can’t run away literally from all these problems.  But I can definitely make sadness run away from me.  Pushing it away was the best thing I could ever think of.  I can’t afford to get distracted in practices.  I’ll be running in the 100-meter dash and a little mistake will leave me no time to recover.  I kept all of my focus on the tournament, my feelings suppressed inside.

I kept it all inside me, until the day of the tournament.  Pressure is everywhere. There are a lot of expectations.  I am not used to having other people check up on me or converse with me.  My mind is filled with trivial thoughts.  My hands are sweating as I make my way to the starting line.  My dad, who is still in an emotional troubling state, came to watch me run.  Now the pressure is doubled up. I can feel it devouring me.  All the emotions I am suppressing seem to be bursting out.

3… 2… 1… Bang!

I accelerated as fast as I could.  By the time I reached my top speed, I can feel my legs slowing down unwillingly.  In a matter of seconds, another runner passed by me.  The 100 meter dash is now over.  I got in third place and I blacked out after that.

I always laugh at people who are overly affected with social problems, now I am laughing at myself.  In constantly reminding myself to forget the problems I have, I forgot to take care of myself.  I pushed myself so hard that I lost what I have been aiming for.

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