Jacob’s Folly

by BigGeorge

Some people would call Jacob Yoder a hoarder, if they knew what he was doing that is.  Others would call him a collector but no one suspected Jacob, or Jack as he was sometimes called, when he left his Amish community in Central Ohio, was leading a double life.Jacob was Amish, a member of the tight-knit communities which are located primarily in the East and Midwest of the United States.  The Amish do not use electricity or phones and do not drive cars.  They dedicate their lives to family and to their god.  The Amish usually farm or run retail stores, mostly for the tourist.

Jacob, as a young man ,went on Rumspringer.  Rumspringer is a time when a young Amish person goes into the world, they can choose to join the world or join their the community and whatever their choice it is for keeps.

It was on Rumspringer that Jacob found a mistress, not a woman, but the love of sports.  And when he returned to his Amish community, took a wife and began to have children, his love for his mistress only grew.  It was in an old barn on his property that he kept his love.

There is no sin in enjoying sports in the Amish Community but for Jacob it was not just sports, it was collectables and autographs and memorabilia, and worse of all it was an obsession.  Jacob loved to collect and would wander from his community, secretly a few times a year to meet a sports hero and get an autograph.  These things he kept secret like another man would keep his love for alcohol from his family.

Jacob owned a car that he kept hidden in a storage facility, a spare pair of modern clothes and a few dollars hidden away.  Jacob prayed for deliverance from his obsession but to no avail, it was as if God either ignored Jacob, or approved of what he was doing.

Jacob had heard from an English, as the non Amish were called, that the University of Akron, in Ohio was demolishing its stadium and was auctioning off parts of it, bleachers, signs and anything a person could haul off.  Jacob arose early in the morning, as always, but instead of going to tend to the farm, he took a cab into town, took his car and headed to Akron. Jacob loved to drive, it was only an hour or so away and he would be back in no time.

Jacob got excited when he arrived at the auction , it was better than a livestock auction, the barker screaming, the crowd cheering.  Jacob had not anticipated this big of event, there were new cameras and radio stations, and even rumors of a few famous people in the crowd.  When the bleachers came up Jacob got even more excited.  The opening bid was 100.00 and Jacob waived his hand.  Other bidders stepped in, two hundred, three hundred.  The bidding was at a fever pitch. Finally, the bidding ended at one thousand for the first of the row of bleacher, that could seat about ten people.  The auction house offered anyone that wanted one to meet the high bid, Jacob had to have one. Jacob paid his money, of course in cash,the total of the bid plus the buyers premium of ten percent.  Jacob was able to get a boy to help him load it into his truck for a few dollars.

Jacob dove towards home , he then suddenly realized, that he had been away all day.  Would his wife be angry, what if there had been an emergency on the farm?  Jacob’s mood turned even worse, how was he to get the bleacher home, driving a pickup truck?

Jacob had an idea, as he arrived at his farm, he quietly coasted down his driveway, parked the truck behind the barn, changed back into his Amish clothes and tip toed up to his bedroom where is wife was already resting.  “Yep” was all a nervous Jacob could say.  “You have to get up early ” said his wife Emma.  “Yeah, like always” said Jacob.  “No” said Emma, “I mean to unload the bleachers and drive the truck back into town” Jacob fell asleep, knowing that his prayers were being heard. And that God had given him the best wife ever.

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