Old Volleyball

by BigGeorge

Atlantic City: Police were summoned to the area near the Steel Pier yesterday after reports of scantily clad women playing a game which a witness said is called Volleyball.  Onlookers said the women were jumping around in obscene ways wearing nothing but bathing garments to the delight of men.

Before the police arrived a small group of seminary students from Trenton began praying for the woman.  Ethel Roberts said she thinks the women were drunkards or possessed by evil spirits.  “I had to shield the eyes of my children” Ethel continues, “It was a horrible spectacle”

According to a professor at New York State College, who wishes to remain anonymous says “The game is played with six members of each team,” the concept he believes is to hit a round ball over a net and hope the other team cannot hit it back.  The professor says the game actually goes back to the ancient Greeks and a similar game was played by the savages in America before the white settlers came.  “It is definitely a game that arouses the senses and has no place in a Christian country “With the savages” he continued ” it would be played before and after consuming mind altering herbs and may have been part of a fertility ritual.  When police arrived, the women were taken into custody and charged with indecent exposure and sexual innuendo.

Many of the women were without husbands even though they were said to be well in their 20s.  It was not disclosed if the women are a part of a suffrage movement.

Authorities at Atlantic City said they will be more diligent in the future and keep Atlantic City a safe place for the souls of families and children.  Rev. Richard Harris of the Atlantic City Church of God appreciates the work of the police but feels it should have never happen in the first place and says that he feels society no longer has a moral direction.  A ninety-two year old man named Nathen Laferty has been coming to the Boardwalk for over 70 years and remembers when it was lined with poker halls and drinking establishments.  He hopes Atlantic City will not return to its old ways.

After release, some,of the women were identified.  Blanche and Erma Lawson, spinster sisters from Brooklyn and a widow, Betty O’Mally from Atlantic City.  Another woman was said to be a negro, she was not yet identified and may face other charges.

In other news, the mayor’s office has allowed Civil War Veterans to collect spare change on the Boardwalk, this is the third time they have collected this year.  The last time they collected over 26.00 from generous tourists and residents and the money was used to repair the social club on Lexington Ave following a strange fire in April.  Please help these men who gave so much to save the Union.

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